Welcome To This Blog!

Thank you for visiting this blog. I'm a licensed psychologist in Oregon, practicing in Portland and Salem. My passion is to assist clients in moving towards a life based on what they hold most meaningful.

My doctoral training in psychology is complemented by a background in dance/movement and different types of bodywork. This mixture of experiences leads to particular interests and strengths in mind-body approaches to mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Prior to embarking on development of a private practice, I trained and worked within the VA system for about seven years. I have felt honored to be admitted into the experiences and inner worlds of many veterans (from WW II through OIF/OEF) struggling so valiantly to make sense of wartime experiences as well as their return to a home and a life that is no longer the same because they themselves have irrevocably changed.

I've also trained and worked in several university and community hospitals, where I gained (and continue to gain) valued experience in accompanying people on their journeys to reconcile their "old" and "new" selves after experiencing serious accidents, illnesses, and other "bolts from the blue."

Finally, I've experienced my own challenges and risks in life that have shaped and taught me. The learning process is never-ending. What I offer to you is the perspective of a trained therapist as well as an imperfect human being who is herself taking risks towards achieving greater balance in life, and who is -- like all of us -- a work in progress.

If you read on and think you might be interested in working together, I'd be happy to start with a phone conversation or a couple of back-and-forths via e-mail to learn more about what you are looking for related to your life and psychotherapy, and whether my work may be a good fit.

Sincerely,
Ruth Q. Leibowitz, Ph.D.
503-927-5714
Dr.Leibq@hotmail.com

My Work in a Nutshell

The mind and body form a system that remains open to learning new ways of being and living as long as we live. Physical challenges (like chronic pain) and trauma (like combat, assault, abuse, neglect, or sudden loss of a loved one) can seem to change a person's life forever. Questions like "Why me?" and "Who am I now that my life has changed?" are normal and natural. Yet trauma is not the end of life -- it can also be a door or a pathway to a life that is changed but also very rich and meaningful.

I work collaboratively with you to promote deeper connections between the mind and body, to affirm a life that is worth living no matter what losses you have experienced. I have worked with veterans, assault survivors, and others who have experienced a wide range of trauma, individuals with health conditions (such as chronic pain), and people experiencing life transitions due to unexpected changes or natural adult developmental stages. I especially enjoy working with people who find themselves ready to experience more joy and connection in life, yet want some assistance in figuring out how to move in that direction.

I combine several approaches to match clients' needs and interests: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), Somatic Experiencing (SE; a mind-body approach to trauma), and "parts" or shadow work. Information on these is described below, and also on the following websites: (https://www.contextualpsychology.org/ for ACT, http://www.traumahealing.com/ for SE, http://www.aabt.org/ for CBT).

Practical Details

In my private practice in Portland, sessions are typically 50 minutes in length at a cost of $125. I offer a limited sliding scale for individuals with limited income. The initial interview and evaluation is typically 90 minutes in length and is $180, again with some flexibility. I am also open to doing a one-time low-fee consultation for clients who would like to meet once without any evaluation or therapy to simply get a sense of whether what I offer might be a good match for what you seek. I am on the insurance panels of Blue Cross-Blue Shield, Pacific Source, some versions of Aetna, and Cigna Behavioral Health. For other types of insurance, I can see you as an out-of-network provider and provide you with a receipt of services to submit to your insurance company.

Please note that I also have a practice in Salem Oregon, however in this practice I am a staff member of the outpatient rehabilitation center affiliated with Salem Hospital and it is not a private practice, so the arrangements would be different. If you live in or near Salem and would like to discuss seeing me there, please give me a call and I can provide information.

Approaches Offered

A word about the "brew" of ingredients: Below I provide brief descriptions of several approaches I use in my work. I am by no means a purist, and tend to blend these approaches together in ways that are unique for each client. The resulting work is a mixture of technique, knowledge, intuition, and interaction with another human being in the present moment.


Somatic Experiencing (SE) - Somatic experiencing, developed by Dr. Peter Levine, is based on what is known about human beings at our deepest levels as organisms. The focus of SE is on noticing and developing fluency in describing bodily sensations that are associated with survival, attachment, and aliveness. We also notice impulses in the body that can help us complete actions that were not able to be completed in the past. For example, imagine a person recovering from a motor vehicle accident who, during the event, did not have time to orient to the oncoming car prior to being hit and losing consciousness. In an SE session this individual might find his or her head beginning to slowly turn in the direction of the oncoming vehicle, in order to complete in the present the act of orienting that remained incomplete in the past. Rather than working from the "top down" (cerebral cortex to brain stem) we work from the "bottom up" (brain stem up to cerebral cortex). We listen to the wisdom of the body. This is helpful, because the lower parts of the brain are not as affected by culture, "shoulds," and social "over-rides" as is the intellect. For this reason, listening to the language of your body will often help you get to a deeper truth about yourself and your experience than can words alone.


Words are important in SE, because we can use them to describe the language of the body and explore the meaning of what the body speaks. However, in SE sensations themselves are honored as separate and important sources of wisdom that have helped us to survive and need to be heard and nurtured. SE is difficult to describe in words, because its main focus is essentially not verbal! Two good web-based sources of information on SE are http://www.traumahealing.com and wwwtraumaresourceinstitute.com. Some excellent books to read on SE and related body-mind approaches can be found among the trauma books listed on the right, and I'll add more resources over time.


Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - In CBT, the key components we focus on are thoughts (cognitions), behaviors, emotions, and aspects of biology. These four domains of human experience interact with one another continually, so that a positive change in any one domain affects all the others, and can lead to a positive change in the experience of being human. For instance, learning to become less physiologically reactive (a physical/biological change) can lead to more frequent pleasurable moods and decreased anxiety (emotional changes), and a decreased likelihood of interpreting other people's behaviors as hurtful (changes in beliefs, cognitions). In turn, these changes may lead to more enjoyable activities experienced with friends or loved ones (a behavioral, social change). Each person is a complex system with patterns of beliefs, behaviors, feelings, and biology that are unique. Everyone has room to become more aware of how these "ingredients" interact together within them and with aspects of their social and physical environments. Everyone has the capacity to shape and interact with these ingredients in ways that promote a more meaningful, harmonious life. In the next blog update, I will add a list of several good books (including client-friendly workbooks) on CBT.


Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - Although ACT and CBT have related historical roots in behaviorism, they also differ in important ways. The most important difference in my mind is that ACT focuses on moving towards valued directions and goals in life, without necessarily getting involved in thoughts, beliefs or one's "personal story" at all. For example, in a CBT session I might help you examine your thoughts with the goal of reframing dysfunctional beliefs into those that cause less pain and lead to more enjoyment of life. In an ACT session, we would focus more on your most important values and how you might take risks and act in the world in order to live the life you want to live. We wouldn't bother very much about examining the content of your thoughts, which in ACT is seen as less important than their function. For example, in CBT a painful belief like "I am a failure who can never succeed at anything" might be discussed and challenged to help you realize that in all likelihood it is not true. In ACT, we might instead notice that this belief appears to be holding you back from the potential pain of taking risks that could lead to success in areas of life that are meaningful for you. We might bypass exploration of the belief in favor of helping you to take the risks necessary to live a life that honors your most important values. ACT was largely developed by Dr. Steven Hayes and a good internet resource to learn more about ACT and related areas of knowledge is https://www.contextualpsychology.org/. A few books from an ACT perspective are listed below, and when I next update this blog, I'll add more.

Shadow Work/"Parts" Work -Each of us has many different "parts" inside. In making a life choice, one "part" might have a particular preference while another "part" wants something different. This can be expressed in ambivalence or procrastination. For example, a person might want to marry and raise a family, while at the same time wanting to live a life of adventure with no room for commitment to anyone else. Sometimes we consciously believe one thing, yet find ourselves impulsively doing something that is completely against that belief. For example, I might highly value friendship and compassion, yet lose my temper with a friend in a way that deeply hurts that person and threatens the integrity of the friendship. Often the "parts" of us that get us in trouble originally came into being because at some point in life we truly needed them in order to feel safe, or loved, or valued. Sometimes we "disown" parts of ourselves, believing we cannot be OK if these energies remain with us. For example, someone who has played the role of the "good child" in their family may disown those aspects of the self seen as angry or rebellious. Yet, these devalued parts in only slightly different forms can be tremendous allies -- if only they can be understood and integrated in a new way. For example, anger or rebelliousness may offer gifts of assertiveness, creativity, and independence without taking away a person's basic goodness. "Parts" work allows you to begin to learn about the different aspects of who you are with curiosity, and to see that they do not have to be fixed in time or space, but can change within you to create a fuller, deeper overall experience of life. In the near future, I will add several books relevant to this work onto the book lists.


Poetry of the Soul

A poem well written is able to echo the human heart in its deepest places. Thus, every so often I'll post a poem on this site that has touched me, and that I hope will touch you as well. Poems that have previously appeared in this space will be saved and you can read them below.

I first found this beautiful poem by Naomi Shihab Nye in a book on kindness by Sharon Salzberg. I was in the bookstore at a retreat center at the time, and the book seemed to call to me to take it off the shelf. I opened up and here was this poem -- I stood weeping in the aisle of the store, feeling as if these words had welcomed me home...

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you hold in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out of the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
has died by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
Catches the threat of all sorrows
And you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Naomi Shihab Nye

Previous featured poetry

Poem #1. I have loved this poem by Denise Levertov for many years. Grief is something that none of us choose initially. Yet, it is a natural and normal response to deep loss, which is part of the human condition. In this poem, grief is portrayed as an experience that deserves its own place in the self's home.

Talking to Grief

Ah, grief, I should not treat you
like a homeless dog
who comes to the back door
for a crust, for a meatless bone.
I should trust you.
I should coax you
into the house and give you
your own corner,
a worn mat to lie on,
your own water dish.

You think I don’t know you’ve been living
under my porch.
You long for your real place to be readied
before winter comes. You need
your name,
your collar and tag. You need
the right to warn off intruders,
to consider
my house your own
and me your person
and yourself
my own dog.

-- Denise Levertov

Poem #2. This poem by the Sufi poet Rumi is the second to appear in the space of this blog. It touches me in the honoring of the light that is shed by darkness. Often we learn that the "dark" aspects of life are to be rejected and pushed away. Yet, whether we wish them to be part of us or not -- there they are. Given that we can't ever completely extinguish them, perhaps there are ways to hold and live with them honestly and gracefully, while at the same time honoring our deepest values. "No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up." "What hurts you blesses you." These are lines that invite contemplation. What are ways in which your darkest, most difficult experiences, have shed light upon you as a person, or on the nature of being a human being in a complex world? In what ways might the shadow that keeps up with you also remind you about what is most important in your life?

Shadow and Light Source Both

How does a part of the world leave the world?
How does wetness leave water?
Don't try to put out fire by throwing on more fire! Don't
wash a wound with blood. No matter how fast
you run, your shadow keeps up. Sometimes it's
in front! Only full overhead sun diminishes
your shadow. But that shadow has been serving
you. What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is
your candle. Your boundaries are your quest.
I could explain this, but it will break the
glass cover on your heart, and there's no
fixing that. You must have shadow and light
source both. Listen, and lay your head under
the tree of awe. When from that tree feathers
and wings sprout on you, be quieter than
a dove. Don't even open your moth for even a coo.

Rumi





The Emergence of Spring and Summer

Many readers will know the myth involving the earth goddess Demeter and her daughter Persephone.  In this ancient story, young Persephone is "kidnapped" by Hades, the king of the underworld.  Demeter is mad with grief over the loss of her beloved daughter.  With Persephone  trapped in the underworld, spring cannot occur and the earth becomes barren.  A "deal" is finally made between the Demeter and Hades by which Persephone lives in the underworld part of the year, and comes back above for the other part -- thus allowing for the seasons of death and regeneration. 

Many years ago I took a mask workshop in which each participant was asked to "take on" the role of one of the characters of this myth.  In particular, we were instructed to choose a character with whom we found it difficult to identify.  I was young then, and it was easiest for me to identify with the daughter Persephone. The mother Demeter was less similar, yet like me she was a woman who was very much attached to living things.  That left Hades, the king of the underworld.  I chose to be him for a while. I put on a mask that reminded me of darkness and death, went out onto the mask maker's property, and began to learn about myself.  As I did this work, the importance of the underworld became more and more evident.  After all, there could be no true appreciation of the bounties of spring and summer were it not for the decline of autumn into winter. The underworld was where shadows dwelled -- shadows that lived inside people, even if they didn't want to own them.  Again, there was no real light without the possibility also of darkness.  Finally, I thought, Persephone had started out as a "nice" girl, but one who was somewhat dorky and naive before she met me. After spending time in the underworld, she became a much more complex human being -- capable of living in darkness as well as light, appreciative of the many facets of reality.  In fact, she came to have an appreciation of the underworld, and felt some sadness at leaving my domain each year. 

Back in the role of an ordinary human being and many years later, I do appreciate the beautiful flowers in their full glory visible all over my neighborhood, vibrant greens of every type of leaf, fiddleheads unfurling into great ferns.  I walk forward into spring and summer with gladness for the longer hours of sunlight, and wamer air against my skin.  Yet, like Persephone, I have experienced a darker time and place that had its value, too.  I note in myself a sense of bittersweetness for the lost winter even while welcoming the warm light.